Letter to Dr. Channing

Dear Dr. Channing, 

I realize that I'm the kind of person who will always need a therapist. 

Not that I'm "crazy" or anything, but just because it's such a relief to talk to someone who doesn't pre-judge me - someone who listens and supports me.

I've learned much over the years as your client ("patient"). I've learned that I don't have to be perfect and that it's okay if other's aren't perfect. THIS IS HUGE!

I recall our first session. I felt like Sybil (the girl with 25 personalities). But your patience and wisdom really helped me to see the truth. 

Maybe I'm "cured" but I would still like to see you anyway...I'm pretty sure there are some glitches in my psyche that will manifest themselves sooner or later.

Sincerely, 
Madison

Dr. Channing says I need to be more social so I participated in a Shakespeare reading group. I had read "Julius Caesar" and "Romeo and Juliet" in high school so the Bard is not a complete stranger.
The play was "The Comedy of Errors." I was expecting about 12 to 15 people. Alas, there were only six! Surprisingly, I was given one of the lead characters - Antipholus of Syracuse and his identical twin Antipholus of Ephesus.

It would have been intimidating if I were not already used to holding a book in my hands and reading the words out loud. I do this all the time at home. Not usually Shakespeare - more typically Lemony Snicket. However, the event was a success and I gave Dr. Channing a full report.

I do relate to Antipholus, as he thinks either he is mad or the world is mad.

 Am I in earth, in heaven, or in hell?
Sleeping or waking, mad or well-advised?
Known unto these, and to myself disguised?

Coffee Break

Following Dr. Channing's instructions to have a nice quiet afternoon out in PUBLIC, I went into a coffee shop today to read a magazine and drink a pumpkin spice latte. The magazine was about traveling to Britain. I imagined myself in red rain boots and holding an umbrella, walking the paths of Charles Dickens, Richard Burton and the Monte Python gang.

Next to me were a couple, a man and a woman. I couldn't help overhearing their conversation. They were having a serious, scientific discussion about alien abductions. The woman believed it was possible and that she may have, in fact, been abducted herself. The man didn't go that far, but was convinced that the moon landing was a hoax. He had a whole list of reasons to "prove it."

I wondered which one was right. Or if they were both wrong. Or both right. My mind flipped and I had to leave.

Doing the Splits

Watched All About Eve the other day. Jumping Johnny Cakes! I'm freaking out.

Is this what I have to look forward to? Split personality? I know I'm NOT crazy but this is too much for my psyche to take. I'm relating to Eve on a personal level. I totally get her. 

I don't think Dr. Channing would approve of me googling "dissociative disorder." (an involuntary escape from reality characterized by a disconnection between thoughts, identity, consciousness and memory).

Will not be sleeping tonight.

Madison

Driving Miss Crazy

I think I'm developing a phobia of driving on the Interstate. When I get on the entry ramp, I recall 7th grade health class and those horrifying films of car crashes. The purpose of the films was to show us how to do first aid at the scene of an accident. 

Why would a 12-year-old need to tie on a tourniquet?

Fortunately, I am not completely overcome by this new would-be phobia. I know how to handle mild anxiety, thanks to Dr. Channing and her cognitive therapy. 

I CAN DO THIS! 

The Opposite

I've decided that George Constanza got it right. If my every inclination is wrong and brings bad things to my life, then I should do the OPPOSITE. It is logical that if I do the opposite, then everything will turn out well. George did it and ended up working for the New York Yankees, (his dream job) and getting a beautiful girlfriend.

So I am going to follow George's advice and do the opposite.

Right now, I am craving mint chocolate chip ice cream. Yes, it's organic, but it's still ICE CREAM!

The opposite of ice cream is....a steak! So I will go now and prepare a steak.

So far so good.

I wonder what Dr. Channing will think of my new life style?

Slippery Slope

Trying to find my niche in life. Dr. Channing says I should make a list of things that I know I'm not supposed to be doing. Somehow it will give me perspective. Here goes:  

MADISON SHOULD NOT:
Have anything to do with advanced mathematics.
Play on any kind of sports team.
Write computer code.
Own a business.
Be a lawyer.
Work with children.
Drive fast cars.

This list is not complete, but looking at it now, I appear to be an anti-social child hater with a math phobia. YIKES!