Driving Miss Crazy

I think I'm developing a phobia of driving on the Interstate. When I get on the entry ramp, I recall 7th grade health class and those horrifying films of car crashes. The purpose of the films was to show us how to do first aid at the scene of an accident. 

Why would a 12-year-old need to tie on a tourniquet?

Fortunately, I am not completely overcome by this new would-be phobia. I know how to handle mild anxiety, thanks to Dr. Channing and her cognitive therapy. 

I CAN DO THIS! 

The Opposite

I've decided that George Constanza got it right. If my every inclination is wrong and brings bad things to my life, then I should do the OPPOSITE. It is logical that if I do the opposite, then everything will turn out well. George did it and ended up working for the New York Yankees, (his dream job) and getting a beautiful girlfriend.

So I am going to follow George's advice and do the opposite.

Right now, I am craving mint chocolate chip ice cream. Yes, it's organic, but it's still ICE CREAM!

The opposite of ice cream is....a steak! So I will go now and prepare a steak.

So far so good.

I wonder what Dr. Channing will think of my new life style?

Slippery Slope

Trying to find my niche in life. Dr. Channing says I should make a list of things that I know I'm not supposed to be doing. Somehow it will give me perspective. Here goes:  

MADISON SHOULD NOT:
Have anything to do with advanced mathematics.
Play on any kind of sports team.
Write computer code.
Own a business.
Be a lawyer.
Work with children.
Drive fast cars.

This list is not complete, but looking at it now, I appear to be an anti-social child hater with a math phobia. YIKES!

Dr. Channing's Ankle Boots

I've discovered that taking a break from blogging is a good thing. Dr. Channing agrees, even though she was the one that suggested I start a blog in the first place.

Yes, I am still seeing Dr. Channing and she continues to be utterly amazing. She just bought a pair of dark brown leather ankle boots with a pewter buckle. During our session I was mesmerized as she crossed her legs and swung her foot back and forth. I don't think she noticed. At least I hope not.

I started this blog when I was 28 and am now 33. Tick tock, tick tock.

I am still single. I still have dinner with my mother on Thursdays. I still hang out with my best friend Rachel, even though she is now married with children. And I still ease my panic attacks with mint chocolate chip ice cream.

What has changed? I am no longer an administrative assistant at an art gallery. I am a graphic designer at an advertising firm. My doodling has paid off.

Dr. Channing continues to work her Freudian magic on my deranged psyche. Her job is not easy.

Madison

In My Right Mind

It's been a few years since I've posted here. I've been away. Locked in the nuthouse, so to speak. After my last post, I had a meltdown and the men in the white coats took me away.

I was at Starbucks and had a panic attack trying to figure out whether to get a hazelnut upside down soy macchiato or a creme de menthe skinny latte. I dropped to the floor and crawled to a corner, assuming the catatonic position. Someone called 911 and the next thing I knew I was lying in a hospital with an IV stuck in my arm.

I've been out for a few weeks now and am realizing that, perhaps I am crazy, as everyone says. Dr. Channing has not given up on me. She has the gift of perseverance. My therapy at this point consists in finding out why I am crazy. Dr Channing does not like that word. For her, crazy describes what happens on reality TV.

Dr. Channing says that writing down my thoughts will help. So here goes nothing.

Madison

Zit Attack

I'm 30 years old and I have a zit on my chin.

Was it the chocolate? The french fries? Or just fate?

I have to go to work tomorrow. Thank God for concealer.

Phone Phobia

I haven't been talking to Dr. Channing about Todd. I'm afraid if I talk about him, it will jinx our relationship. (My relationship with Todd, not with Dr. Channing.)

But today I'm taking a leap of faith and sharing my feelings about Todd.

Todd is my friend. I guess you could say he's my boyfriend. (gee, that sounds weird!) We are taking it slow. And that's okay. We both have issues and we are learning to deal with them. Together.

I freak out every time the phone rings because I think it's Todd and he's either dead or going to break up with me. I'm not sure which would be worse. I'm trying to control this irrational fear.