Thursday, September 15, 2016

Coffee Break

Following Dr. Channing's instructions to have a nice quiet afternoon out in PUBLIC, I went into a coffee shop today to read a magazine and drink a pumpkin spice latte. The magazine was about traveling to Britain. I imagined myself in red rain boots and holding an umbrella, walking the paths of Charles Dickens, Richard Burton and the Monte Python gang.

Next to me were a couple, a man and a woman. I couldn't help overhearing their conversation. They were having a serious, scientific discussion about alien abductions. The woman believed it was possible and that she may have, in fact, been abducted herself. The man didn't go that far, but was convinced that the moon landing was a hoax. He had a whole list of reasons to "prove it."

I wondered which one was right. Or if they were both wrong. Or both right. My mind flipped and I had to leave.

Sunday, September 11, 2016

Doing the Splits

Watched All About Eve the other day. Jumping Johnny Cakes! I'm freaking out.

Is this what I have to look forward to? Split personality? I know I'm NOT crazy but this is too much for my psyche to take. I'm relating to Eve on a personal level. I totally get her. 

I don't think Dr. Channing would approve of me googling "dissociative disorder." (an involuntary escape from reality characterized by a disconnection between thoughts, identity, consciousness and memory).

Will not be sleeping tonight.


Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Driving Miss Crazy

I think I'm developing a phobia of driving on the Interstate. When I get on the entry ramp, I recall 7th grade health class and those horrifying films of car crashes. The purpose of the films was to show us how to do first aid at the scene of an accident. 

Why would a 12-year-old need to tie on a tourniquet?

Fortunately, I am not completely overcome by this new would-be phobia. I know how to handle mild anxiety, thanks to Dr. Channing and her cognitive therapy. 


Saturday, April 30, 2016

The Opposite

I've decided that George Constanza got it right. If my every inclination is wrong and brings bad things to my life, then I should do the OPPOSITE. It is logical that if I do the opposite, then everything will turn out well. George did it and ended up working for the New York Yankees, (his dream job) and getting a beautiful girlfriend.

So I am going to follow George's advice and do the opposite.

Right now, I am craving mint chocolate chip ice cream. Yes, it's organic, but it's still ICE CREAM!

The opposite of ice cream is....a steak! So I will go now and prepare a steak.

So far so good.

I wonder what Dr. Channing will think of my new life style?

Thursday, March 31, 2016

Slippery Slope

Trying to find my niche in life. Dr. Channing says I should make a list of things that I know I'm not supposed to be doing. Somehow it will give me perspective. Here goes:  

Have anything to do with advanced mathematics.
Play on any kind of sports team.
Write computer code.
Own a business.
Be a lawyer.
Work with children.
Drive fast cars.

This list is not complete, but looking at it now, I appear to be an anti-social child hater with a math phobia. YIKES!

Friday, February 19, 2016

Dr. Channing's Ankle Boots

I've discovered that taking a break from blogging is a good thing. Dr. Channing agrees, even though she was the one that suggested I start a blog in the first place.

Yes, I am still seeing Dr. Channing and she continues to be utterly amazing. She just bought a pair of dark brown leather ankle boots with a pewter buckle. During our session I was mesmerized as she crossed her legs and swung her foot back and forth. I don't think she noticed. At least I hope not.

I started this blog when I was 28 and am now 33. Tick tock, tick tock.

I am still single. I still have dinner with my mother on Thursdays. I still hang out with my best friend Rachel, even though she is now married with children. And I still ease my panic attacks with mint chocolate chip ice cream.

What has changed? I am no longer an administrative assistant at an art gallery. I am a graphic designer at an advertising firm. My doodling has paid off.

Dr. Channing continues to work her Freudian magic on my deranged psyche. Her job is not easy.