Sunday, April 22, 2012
Saturday, April 21, 2012
I haven't been talking to Dr. Channing about Todd. I'm afraid if I talk about him, it will jinx our relationship. (My relationship with Todd, not with Dr. Channing.)
But today I'm taking a leap of faith and sharing my feelings about Todd.
Todd is my friend. I guess you could say he's my boyfriend. (gee, that sounds weird!) We are taking it slow. And that's okay. We both have issues and we are learning to deal with them. Together.
I freak out every time the phone rings because I think it's Todd and he's either dead or going to break up with me. I'm not sure which would be worse. I'm trying to control this irrational fear.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
I was channel surfing when I just happened to stop at "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest." I knew right away I should keep going, but something compelled me to watch. It was the scene where Mac is trying to get everyone to vote to watch the baseball game.
Oh, that was so sad. After that scene I shut off the TV and cried. I couldn't stop. I know I'm going crazy after all. I don't want to end up in a mental hospital with Nurse Ratched! Why is she so mean? Why can't she let Mac watch the stupid baseball game?
Dr. Channing would say I'm over-reacting. She would be right.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
My friend Tiffany is in a play this weekend. I'm still sick but I really want to see her performance. She is in a community theatre production of "Annie" and she is playing Miss Hannagin, the evil woman who runs the orphanage.
I met Tiff in the office building where I meet with Dr. Channing. She was there for massage therapy. Tiff, not Dr. Channing.
I wish I had the courage to do theatre. I'm a Phil Collins song -- "I can't dance and I can't sing..."
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
No, not home sick meaning I miss my family. Home sick meaning I'm home sick from work. Runny nose, headache, fever. Settling down on the couch with tissues, hot tea and a bottle of cough syrup.
If I wasn't so miserable I'd watch TV, but all I can do is sit and stare. Must call Dr. Channing to reschedule my appointment.
Oh, no! The Jehovah's Witnesses are knocking at the door. The pounding...pounding...pounding...
Monday, April 9, 2012
I didn't sleep last night. Insomnia again. Dr. Channing doesn't prescribe sleeping pills. I waited for daylight, grabbed my sketch book and drove to the park, stopping off at Starbucks for a hazelnut latte. I'm sketching the Canada geese that like to putter around the shore of the lake.
Their long necks captivate me. I imagine what it would be like to have a long neck like a goose. I think a goose would look fabulous in a turtleneck sweater.