Flying Over the Cuckoo's Nest

I should not be watching TV.

I was channel surfing when I just happened to stop at "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest." I knew right away I should keep going, but something compelled me to watch. It was the scene where Mac is trying to get everyone to vote to watch the baseball game.

Oh, that was so sad. After that scene I shut off the TV and cried. I couldn't stop. I know I'm going crazy after all. I don't want to end up in a mental hospital with Nurse Ratched! Why is she so mean? Why can't she let Mac watch the stupid baseball game?

Dr. Channing would say I'm over-reacting. She would be right.

Going Mad

I just found out Mad Men is NOT about crazy people. I also realized that the first syllable of my name is "Mad"...oh, brother.

Texting Dr. Channing...this is too weird...

I am NOT crazy!

Showtime

My friend Tiffany is in a play this weekend. I'm still sick but I really want to see her performance. She is in a community theatre production of  "Annie" and she is playing Miss Hannagin, the evil woman who runs the orphanage.

I met Tiff in the office building where I meet with Dr. Channing. She was there for massage therapy. Tiff, not Dr. Channing.

I wish I had the courage to do theatre. I'm a Phil Collins song -- "I can't dance and I can't sing..."

Home Sick

No, not home sick meaning I miss my family. Home sick meaning I'm home sick from work. Runny nose, headache, fever. Settling down on the couch with tissues, hot tea and a bottle of cough syrup.

If I wasn't so miserable I'd watch TV, but all I can do is sit and stare. Must call Dr. Channing to reschedule my appointment.

Oh, no! The Jehovah's Witnesses are knocking at the door. The pounding...pounding...pounding...

Random Day

I didn't sleep last night. Insomnia again. Dr. Channing doesn't prescribe sleeping pills. I waited for daylight, grabbed my sketch book and drove to the park, stopping off at Starbucks for a hazelnut latte. I'm sketching the Canada geese that like to putter around the shore of the lake.

Their long necks captivate me. I imagine what it would be like to have a long neck like a goose. I think a goose would look fabulous in a turtleneck sweater.

Personality Quiz: Ice Cream

Because of my constant penchant for self-analysis, online personality quizzes have become an compulsive pass time for me.

Today I took the Ice Cream test which determines my personality based on my favorite flavor of ice cream. Sweet!

I chose "strawberry" from the list and here are the "official" results:

You are shy, yet emotionally robust, skeptical, detail-oriented, opinionated, introverted and self-critical. Easily made to feel guilty; cranky, pessimistic, low self-esteem.

WOW! No wonder I need therapy!

NOTE TO SELF: Ask Dr. Channing which flavor of ice cream she prefers, but don't be too obvious. She's a smart cookie.

Going Temporarily Bananas

At my therapy session the other day, Dr. Channing said that I was doing so well that she wondered if therapy was still necessary. I immediately FREAKED OUT!

First of all, I absolutely NEED therapy. Not because I'm crazy, but because I want to understand myself so that I can make it in this upside down world.

Second of all, It's taken me years to find the perfect therapist. None of the others measured up to the wonderful greatness of Dr. Channing. I realize she is not Super Woman. But she is kind, smart, witty, understanding and brutally honest -- qualities I admire in people, and especially in therapists.

Needless to say, my irrational response to her suggestion caused her to realize that, yes, I definitely do need to continue therapy.

Whew!