Extreme Makeover

On Saturday Rachel and I got a free makeover at Macy's. It's totally not our thing, but with every makeover, you get a coupon for Taco Bell. So why not?


I think the makeup artists used every weapon in their arsenal. We looked like a couple of Cirque du Soleil rejects. To preserve the memory, Rachel took a picture of us with her cell phone. I think I'll photoshop it for next year's Christmas cards.


My favorite part of the process was picking the eye shadow. I usually use grey or taupe, but I stepped outside the box and went with purple. This was a big step for me because purple symbolizes the opposite of everything I stand for.


Let me explain. You see, I've developed a theory about color and personality. I have absolutely no empirical evidence to back me up, but it's just something I know is true. According to my theory, each color has a positive and negative vibe. For example, blue represents joy (positive) and violence (negative). Positive because blue skies make you happy; negative because the phrase "black and blue" is violent and having the "blues" is to be sad. 


Purple represents loyalty (positive -- king's wear purple robes and demand loyalty from their subjects) and aggression (negative -- purple is a popular color among athletic teams and athletes are aggressive). While I am somewhat loyal, I am not aggressive. In fact, I go out of my way to be nice to people. Everyone has to like me. That is the rule of my universe.


I haven't told Dr. Channing about my color theory. As a woman of science, she wouldn't be impressed. Besides, I wouldn't want her be self-conscious about the colors she wears to our sessions.