Saturday, March 12, 2011

Paradigm Shift

Dr. Channing is going to a conference. That means my therapy session has been cancelled for Thursday. But what really has me concerned is that she wants to see me twice a week.

TWICE A WEEK!? That can't be a good sign:

ME: But, Dr. Channing, I don't understand. Am I getting worse?

CHANNING: Of course not, Madison. In fact, just the opposite. I believe that you're nearing a breakthrough in your therapy.

ME: A breakthrough? Really?

CHANNING: With two sessions per week we should be able to uncover the cause of your neuroses at this critical juncture.

ME: I thought we already uncovered it. Remember the dream I had about Mama putting me on the toilet at two months old? My anal-retentive whatcha call it?

CHANNING: Yes, the dream was revelatory, but that was just the tip of the iceberg. As we've discussed previously, you have been showing signs of a castration complex, narcissism and regression.

ME: Regression? I haven't sucked my thumb since I was 13.

So Dr. Channing scheduled me for Tuesdays and Thursdays. I should be glad that a breakthrough is on the horizon, but I'm not. I'm terrified.


  1. If I were Madison, I don't think I'd be jumping for joy either.

  2. Mary: I agree. Not a good sign, despite what Dr. Channing says.