Saturday, March 12, 2011
Dr. Channing is going to a conference. That means my therapy session has been cancelled for Thursday. But what really has me concerned is that she wants to see me twice a week.
TWICE A WEEK!? That can't be a good sign:
ME: But, Dr. Channing, I don't understand. Am I getting worse?
CHANNING: Of course not, Madison. In fact, just the opposite. I believe that you're nearing a breakthrough in your therapy.
ME: A breakthrough? Really?
CHANNING: With two sessions per week we should be able to uncover the cause of your neuroses at this critical juncture.
ME: I thought we already uncovered it. Remember the dream I had about Mama putting me on the toilet at two months old? My anal-retentive whatcha call it?
CHANNING: Yes, the dream was revelatory, but that was just the tip of the iceberg. As we've discussed previously, you have been showing signs of a castration complex, narcissism and regression.
ME: Regression? I haven't sucked my thumb since I was 13.
So Dr. Channing scheduled me for Tuesdays and Thursdays. I should be glad that a breakthrough is on the horizon, but I'm not. I'm terrified.