Blind Date

What is wrong with me? I can't believe I agreed to go on a blind date! It's this Friday, which means I have four days of acute anxiety building up to a psychotic breakdown!

It all started when I ran into a Chondra at the coffee shop yesterday. I was sitting there reading "The Litigators: on my Kindle, minding my own business . . .

CHONDRA: Madison! It's great to see you!

ME: Chondra! What are you doing here? (I always say that to people I run into. It's stupid but I can't help it.)

CHONDRA: I"ve been meaning to call you. There's a guy that I'd like to introduce you to. You're still single, right?

ME: Not interested.

CHONDRA: He's really sweet. He's a friend of Jeremiah's and he's just moved into town. His name's Todd.

ME: Todd? As in the "Saturday Night Live" sketch with Bill Murray and Gilda Radner?

CHONDRA: What?

ME: Nevermind.

CHONDRA: Well, I thought you two might hit it off. You have a lot in common. You work in an art gallery and Todd . . . well . . .he likes art!

I give Chondra the evil eye. She's been trying to match me up with somebody for three years, ever since she and Jeremiah have been together. Why do people in relationships want everyone else to be in a relationship? I'm already in a relationship! With my THERAPIST! And my brother's DOG! Not to mention BEN & JERRY!

Of course I didn't say any of this to Chondra. I didn't want to hurt her feelings so I agreed to go out with Todd. I just didn't have the heart to disappoint her.

Thank God I'm seeing Dr. Channing on Thursday before the date. I have a feeling of impending doom.