Mama Called

I just sat down with a bowl of macaroni and cheese and was ready to watch "Tabatha's Salon Takeover" when Mama called. Thank God for caller I.D., but I answered anyway. I didn't want to have to call back later. I'd just as soon get it over with.


"Hello, Mama."


"Madison, I thought your were coming over tonight."


"Not tonight, Mama. On Thursday. It's only Tuesday"


"Are you eating? Did I interrupt you dinner?"


"No. Just hanging out."


"Why do I get the feeling that you're not telling me the truth?"


"What do you want me to say? Yes, you're interrupting my dinner. Yes, you called at an inconvenient time. Yes, you're a pain in the..."


"Very funny. Don't you feel better getting all that off your chest?"


"Terrific."


"Which reminds me, how is your therapy coming along?"


"Fine."


"Do you talk about me?"


"Of course."


"What's your doctor like?"


"She's a liberal Democrat."


"I don't have anything against Democrats."


"I know you don't, Mama. That's why you've voted Republican your whole life."


"I vote for the best person. Can I help it if it's always a Republican?"


"I've gotta go. My mac and cheese is starting to look like mortar."


"Okay, I'll see you Thursday. Love you."


"Love you, too, Mama."